The studio has been closed and it hurts. My hands were tied with my two younger kids being home full time and my attention is on homeschooling like a lot of parents now. Fun Times right?! However, They come first.
I was not able to sell as much as I was expecting to the first 2 weeks when this all started. I did have some deliveries and that failed as it was a lot of time and so much extra work. I couldn’t do it. It was all way too much too soon. Too too much. I was REALLY bad emotionally the first 2 weeks I was closed. I was wondering if I should stick with the government on this and just shut my doors for good. After all, it was a good time to quit.
If you know someone now who is suffering from not being open you may feel the pain a little bit. We may not be considered “essential”, but for some, this is our livelihood.
I have always been transparent with the studio. I opened, and I grew. A lot of businesses can’t say that. It is a struggle. Not just in 2020 but all year round. It kind of feels like a roller coaster you just can’t jump off. Up’s and down’s sideways twists, and hanging by your ankles. (that sensation comes at tax time)
I didn’t get the loan either. I didn’t get any loan. I did apply. I thought the early bird would get the worm and I didn’t. No bailout, no cushion, no help, nothing. I had depended on the people who I have paid in to and I had got nothing. It’s no wonder small businesses close. It appears there is no help unless you “know” someone. Nobody knocks on your door asking if they can help you. If they do it comes with a cost.
I don’t know anyone that will save me. Actually I do! My landlord! He knows I am a hard worker, I bust my butt, I take care of it all. I don’t complain, I get things done. I work for what I have, and now for what I don’t. Not being open really stinks. That studio is my happy place. Well, besides my home and now that’s been taking a turn. These walls are making me sad as I’m sure you will agree. Too much of a thing is not a god thing.
I did find out more about myself though, I live for inspiration! To be the good, to strive when no one else can. To think “let’s do this” instead of accepting defeat. I can’t do it. I may have a pity party every once in a while but the next day I am back at it! I pull it together, dust it off and think some more. How can I fix this?
I was really planning to close the doors. Why do I do all of this? For what? I can just sit on the couch and binge Netflix! Am I an idiot? I can’t. I can’t do it. My brain doesn’t turn off. I am always thinking of ways to do things. I am an entrepreneur at heart. I think of ways, I find the ways, I take action. Always. I can’t close. I will never be able to just stop creating. My mind doesn’t work that way. It’s always on and even if I did close, I know now I’d be onto something else.
Even in the darkest days, you have to keep dreaming no matter what. There’s power in your dreams and only YOU can make them a reality.